Ashbury Citizens Rifted to Strange Interplanar "Way Station"
On Saturday the 17th of June, a number of multicolored balls of light were seen darting through the streets of Ashbury. These orbs selectively chased down and enveloped numerous citizens of the city and surrounding countryside. Anyone so touched disappeared in a flash of light. It was noticed that only so-called "adventurers" were captured in this way; children and peasants were ignored.
The victims found themselves rifted through the planes. Their final destination was a place known as The Way Station. The Way Station is a sort of interplanar tavern apparently located between all the planes, at the center of the "multiverse."
Its proprietor was a blue skinned gentleman whose name is still unknown but who was referred to by some of the patrons as "The Traveler." Witnesses claim that this same bartender was present several weeks ago in Ashbury city. Apparently he was gathering information regarding Ashbury currency and the value of various objects, knowledge of which he used to price items he had in the Way Station using Ashbury currency. The fellow was quite the mysterious type, who answered questions with questions. He did not aid his visitors, nor did he harm them.
The Way Station itself was a strange and mysterious place, filled with mist and with eerie lights everywhere. Outside of the Station building itself was a maze-like Arena with grey walls that towered fifty feet into the air. The customers and clientele of The Way Station were all creatures that seemed bizarre and alien to the visiting Ashbury citizens. There were beings every color of the rainbow and more. There were some with horns, spikes and other protrusions on different parts of their bodies.
Some of the stranger beings seen at the Way Station included a disembodied brain looking to buy a body; an intelligent flying magic sword requesting to be wielded against evil; a talking plant that seemed quite sophisticated; a deaf and mute being who tried to get people to sign his trading contracts; groups of Gerakari and Gerazari; a being known looking to purchase people's souls; and Wonky, a scavenger-like mouse creature with a strange sense of humor. There were many other bizarre beings, but they are too numerous to list in detail.
Upon arrival, every person was required to register with the local customs, who were attempting to keep the raw elements of Life, Death, Order and Chaos out of the Way Station. The customs official also supplied atmospheric "bubbles" to the visiting Tyrrans to whom the Way Station's atmosphere was apparently toxic.
After passing customs, the visitors of the Prime Material Plane (as our plane was referred to by the Way Station inhabitants), nicknamed "primers," were welcomed into the tavern. The bartender offered ale and wine that was as excellent as any the Neumachts ever brewed. He offered gambling at his tables, and even dealt in Ashbury currency. primers and other clientele were invited to. visit the Arena outside.
The Arena was a large maze-like battle ground adjoining the Way Station. The Arena, was run by an armored, rune-covered creature known as the Arena Master. The Arena Master held ongoing competitions of combat skill where he decided odds as the competitors named the type of monster they wished to fight. Once the challenger was ready, the Arena Master would actually rift the opponents into the Arena. The Arena did not use actual monsters, but instead used creatures called Talentmorphs. These Talentmorphs appeared to be amorphous globs of a grey clay-like substance. While their physical form never changed, their capabilities did. These Talentmorphs had the ability to acquire all the abilities and skills of any creature they touched.
Competitors could also challenge other clientele of the Way Station. One of the more interesting battles occurred when Hanson and Radrick of Trellheim challenged the Arena Master to a duel. The Arena Master was an extremely a skilled gladiator and with his twin swords whirling he dispatched the two in a matter of seconds.
Despite all of its attractions, the Way Station had its problems and was a rather chaotic place. Occasionally hostile creatures would rift in through the entrance and attack Way Station customers, and some brood creatures that rifted in actually made themselves a home out within the maze of the Arena. It turned out that these random riftings were a result of the evil influence of the chaotic Klaus von Schreck (see accompanying article).
Later another monster problem developed. A being by the name of Doctor Quemorian unleashed a horde of strange lizard creatures on the Way Station for unknown reasons. These creatures, who were apparently products of his experiments, had eerily pulsing foreheads. They exhibited strange mental powers called psionics.
With their psionics these "psi-beasts" could produce a number of startling effects with but a thought. They were able to cause others to have spontaneous emotions, could produce flame and ice out of the air, could knock people's weapons from their hands, and even assault their very brain. Even worst, the psi-beasts carried parasites on their body that would infect anyone touching them. Many Ashban primers were infected by these parasites. The effects of the infestation varied from individual to individual, but all had similar symptoms. The physical body was weakened in all cases, and the mind was strengthened allowing for the use of weak psionics.
No one knows why Dr. Quemorian sent the psi-beasts into the Way Station or what would have happened with prolonged exposure to the parasites. Several hours after these incidents, all of the primers were returned to their home plane, killing the parasites. Dr. Quemorian himself appeared shortly before the primers' departure, but he was rifted away before he could reveal any of his motivations.
The Way Station had also been plagued by a brood problem for a short time. The bartender had sent for an exterminator, but he had never shown up. The brood attacks became increasingly more bothersome around the same time the primers arrived.
Hanson and Morlox of Trellheim found the nest. Their battle cries soon attracted the rest of the primers. The battle that ensued was long and fierce. The hive, an acid-eaten tunnel over a hundred feet deep, was packed full of brood. Wave after way of the chittering insectoids advanced on the attackers.
Several Ashban primers including Radric, Zev, Siobhan, and Fayde were all cocooned by the brood. They were however rescued before they bled to death.
When it seemed that they were gaining the upper hand however, disaster struck. The primers who had been cocooned earlier suddenly spasmed with agony then went through a bizarre mutation. All four metamorphed into brood before the eyes of the horrified onlookers. These new brood then flocked to their queen and joined in the defense of the hive.
Finally, the primers got within attacking distance of the queen, and began assaulting her with spells. After a lengthy stand off, the queen was hacked down by the primers and finally Deathed by the Exterminator himself.
Among the other strange clients of the Way Station was a mysterious creature with a cowl hiding his face. He was trying to sell magic "beans" which he claimed would grow into gold. He traded a small bag of these beans to Dingo the hobling, in exchange for a number of potions and elixirs. The strange creature then rifted away on the spot. Unfortunately, when Dingo planted the bean, he and the few people near him (including Talisian, Agni, and Ranir) found themselves transported to a strange arena where thery were forced to fight strange beings for the amusement of a large cheering audience. They eventually pleased their captors enough that they were returned.
Several Ashbans, including Corrine, Hanson, Blade, Mason, and Zev, also had some important items stolen while at the Way Station. The items just rifted out of existence. The Traveler suspected a shady character who had been caught before, so with his help in the form of a rift item, some adventurers were able to rift to the plane where the items were located. They confronted the thief who demanded his life in exchange for the return of the items, but Hanson made sure that the being would not be able to rift back to the Way Station.
The primers eventually discovered that they were brought to the Way Station by the Planar Federation (see accompanying article) because the Federation thought that the primers had learned how to plane shift on their own. When it was discovered that this was not the case, they were unceremoniously returned.
This fact was not learned until late on Sunday, but only a few adventurers made any attempt to try to return to their own plane. Sailors from the trading vessel The Harvest Moon thought that the strange deaf and mute being was their key to returning to the Prime Material Plane. This humanlike creature kept presenting primers with ridiculous contracts of trade and most citizens ignored him. Others were openly aggressive, and Morlox's insulting attitude towards the peaceful man almost resulted in the deaths of many of the Ashbans present. Harvest Moon spent many hours deciphering the strange man's language and then writing a counteroffer contract in his own language that the being accepted, and as a result they returned to Ashbury hours before anyone else and with some sort of financial deal as well.
In any event, the rest of the primers arrived back in Ashbury on the evening of the 17th--some would say they were kicked out. They returned in one large flash of light, all appearing exactly where the initially rifted away. All seemed relatively unharmed but a little shaken from the whole encounter.
Klaus von Schreck, Lord of Misrule, returned to the Way Station for his last hurrah, sparking a murder mystery that left many of Ashbury's finest scratching their chins in puzzlement.
After languishing in his padded cell for months, the mad Klaus finally had the chutzpah to break out and slay his captors, including the Spirit Archon himself. His ensuing rampage in the Pale so impressed the Courts of Chaos that they decided to give him one last chance to be their anointed champion, so they poured enough raw chaos in him to fry the spirit of a lesser mortal, and sent him off to the Way Station to do their bidding.
The Courts told Klaus a secret to which few on the Way Station were privy. In the dawn of time, before the planes even existed, there was only the Void in the form of raw, unadulterated Chaos. The very first Elemental War occurred when the upstart forces of Order, Life, and Death, which had emerged spontaneously from the Void, struggled against Chaos to carve out the multiplanar universe. The troika could not vanquish Chaos, so they resorted to imprisoning the vast bulk of it in the nexus of the planes--the so-called Way Station--, where they bound it with four mystical seals. Furthermore, in a rare display of unity, they designated the Way Station as a neutral zone, and they forbade upon pain of obliteration any Magistarium elementals from entering, though they allowed four elemental ambassadors called Incarnates to go in their stead.
As a result, the Way Station became a United Planes of sorts, the only place in the multiverse where planar diplomats could meet without fear of reprisal. Of course, as time progressed, the Way Station became rundown, a seedy tavern cropped up, and the Way Stationers completely forgot the existence of the Chaos prison.
However, the Courts of Chaos did not forget, and for eons they waited patiently until the stars were favorable for the Ritual of Unbinding, which uses the power of fey blood to break the four seals. For the first time since the dawn of creation, the stars were aligned in such a way as to make the ritual possible, so the Court dispatched Klaus von Schreck to do the deed. After he had fled the Pale, Klaus joined up with his ally the Marauder and managed to elude customs by bribing a corrupt Mammonite agent named Vinnie.
Next, he sought refuge in the Marauder's private chambers and ritually stored his spirit into the ectoplasm of a smuggled Doppelganger, thus enabling him to "snatch" bodies by engulfing an humanoid and assuming its body form. In addition, because Klaus' spirit was so corrupted by chaos, his very touch could infect someone with the Chaos plague, a horrific condition that causes insanity, death, and eventual reanimation into a ghoul with a craving for flesh. Klaus had become a formidable opponent indeed.
Following close upon Klaus' heels, Underlord Minos and his three Black Watch rifted into the Way Station early on Saturday afternoon. Minos could not divulge Klaus' name because it was classified information, but he did inform the crowd that "Planar Enemy Number One" was a Primer whose face was Marked with the rune of the Spirit Ward.
Furthermore, Minos was authorized to deputize three primers to conduct the investigation in Minos' name. The Black Watch deemed Hanson, Radric, and Mason to be worthy, so Minos invested them with the powers of Black Watch servants, issued each of them a License to Kill, and ordered them to terminate anyone who interfered in their investigation.
The Marauder, Incarna of Chaos, proved to be an invaluable ally of Klaus, for he discreetly slew Vinnie before the corrupt Mammonite could spill the beans to the deputies. But even the Marauder was fallible, for he neglected to kill the Loremaster who, alone among the Way Stationers, remembered the secret of the Chaos prison, even though he was too senile to express it in a coherent fashion. In an obscure speech riddled with symbolism, the Loremaster revealed that the seals were inscribed on the living spirits of the four Incarnates: the Celestine (Life), the Marauder (Chaos), the Nephandus (Death), and the Inquisitor (Order). Since these ambassadors are vessels of the Magistarium, they are vulnerable to the energy of their opposing element, which explains why the Prime Directive of the Way Station prohibits the presence of raw Genesis, Entropy, Nether, or Vis. Yet Klaus knew that fresh fey blood contained trace amounts of the four proscribed elements, and by intoning the right incantations, he could mystically activate the blood so that it would "unbind" the Incarnates.
In a stroke of luck for Klaus, a Seelie emissary was petitioning House Myrmidon for aid in recovering Oberon from the clutches of the Unseelie Court. Klaus "snatched" the body of the Myrmidon negotiator, hired an Anarch to slash the fey with an iron sword, and inconspicuously wiped the bloody sword on his hand. Since Klaus had infected the fey with the chaos plague, the pixie toppled over an hour later and died a painful death. Klaus could not resist a bravura gesture and left a letter in the fey's pocket which read "Rache", meaning "Revenge" in Blackstonish.
Armed with the blood, Klaus used a variety of stratagems to unbind the Incarnates one by one, a process that caused each of them to explode into a coruscating ball of chaotic energy. Various clues pointed to Klaus' identity along the way. A letter on the Celestine's body reported the theft of the Doppelganger from the Life Ward. After the Marauder blew up, Lupiticus found a ward key emblazoned with the sign of chaos which would have opened the chamber holding Klaus' body. By Sunday evening, only the Inquisitor remained, but Klaus nearly failed his mission by prematurely "morphing" into his true shape and cutting down his nemesis Gywnne Neumacht. Cursing his lack of self-control, Klaus rushed outside the tavern, spotted the unguarded Inquisitor, and "unbound" him before the primers realized what was going on.
The Court of Trellheim subsequently beat Klaus into a puddle of fleshy goo, but the mad wizard died blissfully, knowing that a flood of primeval chaos was sweeping the planes because of him. If the estimates of the astrologers are correct, it will overtake Tyrra some time in early November.
(Editor's note: This report was delivered to the offices of the Ashbury Times by the Traveler.)
A Report From the Imperator of the Federation
The Way Station is the seat of the Planar Federation. The Federation is the only interplanar body that guarantees full rifting privileges to its members. Full Membership is granted to planar civilizations who (1) are advanced enough to planar travel and (2) pass the tests of the six accredited Houses.
Since the Pedagogues reported higher than normal rifting activity in a region known as Ashbury, the Federation determined that the Prime Material Plane had satisfied the first stipulation. A sample population of primers was seized and tested, with the results listed below for each House.
House Justicar: A house of blue-blooded aristocrats who devote their lives to law-giving, politics, and the pursuit of temporal power. Composed of the most charismatic of races with a passion for the law.
Purview: Politics and government
Results: Blade, Radric, and Hanson found to be the equivalent of Justicars in the Prime Material Plane. The operative Primer term is "noble." Radric and Hanson elucidated the Code of Chivalry; Blade the Code of Man. The latter was deemed more enlightened.
House Mymridon: A house comprised of the most martial races, whose credo defines warfare as a test of adulthood and the only path to glory. Each member is an expert tactician, strategist, and warrior, equipped with the most advanced planar weaponry the Way Station can buy.
Purview: Military achievements
Results: Sergeant York proved himself in the field of battle. Although Primer technology is primitive, its martial spirit is exemplary.
House Pedagogia: The most cerebral and logical races--the so-called "intelligentsia"--, belong to this house, whose only goal is the dispassionate compilation and analysis of knowledge. These House members adopt a policy of strict noninterference, and never let emotions interfere with their quest for the truth.
Purview: Scholarly achievements
Results: Faustus, Dax, Talesian, Gwynne, and Anaken acquitted themselves well in a scholarly debate, "Resolved: Necromancy Should Be Legal." Still, the primers only aware of two schools of magic, making us conclude that the primers have high aptitude but low achievement.
House Epicurus: The most sensitive and artistically inclined races belong to this house, whose overarching goal is the pursuit of Beauty. Members are invariably attractive, dreamy, and sophisticated, cultivating only the finest tastes in clothes, food, and art. In many cases, the search for beauty is overwhelmed by the search for pleasure, and the member becomes little more than a sensualist.
Purview: The arts
Results: A Primer known as Kit Waterwise sang a beautiful song, showing that the primers have a good ear for music. After sampling Dingo's vintage, we decided the primers have discriminating tastes in food and drink. Still, the primers' fashion sense was found wanting. Many of the Primates were little better than ragamuffins.
House Mammon: The most greedy and economically savvy races flock to this house in the hopes of making the most profit. Money, in all its multitudinous forms, truly makes the planes go round. This house has a monopoly on interplanar travel, and all those rifting into the Way Station have to pass House customs, though greasing the palm of the agent tends to expedite the process.
Purview: Economics
Results: The Sailors of the Harvest Moon displayed their business acumen, and in general, the primers passed these tests with flying colors. Many of the primers would sell their own mother if they could. Commendable!
House Anchorite: Only the most austere and pacifistic races join this house, whose members follow a strict path of asceticism. The pursuit of moral purity is the highest good. Members abhor violence and heal the mind and body of anyone in need, no matter what his or her creed may be.
Purview: Spiritual worth
Results: Only Morgan Sunstar showed a willingness to practice the "Way of the Celestine", a path of nonviolence. The primers do not have a highly developed system of ethics.
Caitiffs: The riffraff of the planes, the rebels, the anarchists, and all those deviant races fill the ranks of this "house", whose only rule is that there are no rules. They enjoy rampaging around the Way Station and upsetting the plans of the other Houses.
Purview: The Caitiffs are not a sanctioned House.
Results: Many primers, including most of the Court of Trellheim, flocked to this cause and willingly accepted the Marauder's taint of chaos. The primers' anarchic tendencies give us cause for concern.
As per the Way Station Charter, an Election occurs at the end of each cycle to determine which House will rule over the Way Station. The ruling House sets the agenda for the Federation, which has far-reaching consequences for the rest of the Planes. Each House member has one vote.
Since each House was equally matched before the arrival of the primers, the newly inducted Primer members made a crucial difference. By forming a coalition with Epicurus, Anchorite, and Justicar, House Pedagogia narrowly defeated the Caitiffs, and Talesian was elected as the Pedagogue elder among the primers.
At this point, it was determined that primers were not capable of planar travel, disqualifying them from Federation status. The Imperator of the Federation considered the motion to grant Protectorate status--reserved for less advanced civilizations--to the Prime Material Plane, but the primers did not have enough House members to pass the motion.
They were sent back to their Plane unceremoniously and will be invited back when they have reached travel on their own.
In a surprise turn of events, Sorceress Shalizar will be put on trial in July for summoning the half-orc hunting pantherghast last March. The pantherghast had attacked the half-orcs Gorahq Korenk and Krothgar of the Shield of Vendamor and Olin Redbeard, now of the Ash Forest. Although none of the orcs possessed magical swords or could cast spells to affect the creature, they were lent magical swords by the other townspeople who were around and managed to dispatch the creature fairly quickly. It was believed at that time that the ritual caster was nearby as had happened last year with the elf-hunting pantherghast, but a search turned up no one.
After Bryan Nordenn's wedding and promotion to Duke, he took it upon himself to find the culprit. Duke Nordenn came up with a list of possible suspects with Lord Magistrate Faustus, then focused his investigation on two prominent celestial ritual casters in town: Morlox Nightshade and Baron Justice McCoy, both of the Barony of Trellheim. The prominent earth ritual caster Sir Kelial of Blythedale was left out of the investigation because it was erroneously believed that the ritual could only be cast under the celestial school. With the two suspects in mind, Duke Nordenn publicly announced his investigation in a writ posted throughout all the taverns of Ashbury.
It is unclear at this time why Morlox and Justice were the likeliest suspects, as Wizard Marius and Shalizar were both more accomplished ritual casters, not to mention all the dragon mages and other powerful ilk that travel through Ashbury wreaking havoc.
About a week after the Duke's public notice, Shalizar posted a surprising writ in which she confessed she had cast the ritual. She stated that she had intended to cast it on orcs but that the ritual had mistakenly affected half-orcs as well. She also admitted that her embarrassment over the mistake kept her from speaking up earlier.
The Duke followed with a final public notice stating he would be holding a trial against Shalizar in July and that the punishment would most likely be light if she was telling the truth.
Whether Shalizar actually is telling the truth is also unclear at this time. Many find it hard to believe that one of the most accomplished celestial ritual casters in Ashbury could make a mistake like this. One theory is that Shalizar is lying to protect her two favorite Senior Guildsmen, deflecting the investigation from the guilty parties onto herself. It would be a lot easier for her than someone on Trellheim to convince the Duke that it was all a mistake.
That would leave Morlox and Justice, the two Senior Guildsmen viewed as most likely to succeed her upon retirement, free of any criminal record that might prevent the Duchess from approving their appointment to the position. Another theory is that Shalizar did cast the ritual but intentionally targeted half-orcs in an attempt to gain revenge upon Unrok of the Shield. The on-again-off-again relationship between the temperamental couple has sometimes turned violent, though summoning an extra-planar creature seems extreme even for Shalizar.
Before he left on a quest to discover the whereabouts of Camilla and Ta'wane, solicitor Quentin Dunbury commented on Shalizar's behalf that in his opinion mere possession of the scroll should not be a crime. "The scroll in and of itself is no more dangerous than a sword." he said.
The trial will take place Saturday evening, July 15th, in the main tavern hall. It is expected to draw a large crowd, particularly the half-orcs of the Shield of Vendamor and Clan McEwan, so plan to arrive early.
Under the direction of Guildmistress Shalizar, the members of the Ashbury Mages' Guild convened on May 28th for their annual meeting. Blessed with warm weather and sunny skies, the members discussed many issues in hopes of finding ways to better meet the needs facing the Guild and their ever-evolving relationship with the citizens of Ashbury.
Among the new policies announced by Guild are the following:
1) A Detect Magic spell will be cast upon request at times other than every hour on the half hour. This service will cost 3 silver, the price of a Detect Magic scroll, or if a party wishes they may donate a Detect Magic scroll or spell at the time of the casting. The amount of persons or items detected is limited only by the duration and range of the spell itself.
2) During daylight hours, the Guild's Ward will be lowered in order to allow the citizens of the Duchy better access to Midnight Guildshall. It is asked that the safety of the Guild be a concern for all and that those needing to enter the Guild be aware of its limited capacity.
3) It is no longer required that customers leave their weaponry outside the Guild. Instead those visiting Midnight Guildshall are asked to sheath or lower their arms in a non-threatening manner.
4) Finally, Guildmistress Shalizar wishes to let it be known that all members of the Ashbury Mages' Guild will, while serving as an agent of the Guild, be expected to treat all citizens of Evendarr with courtesy and respect, the exception being any person or creature showing aggression or intent of harm upon the Guild and any of its members.
Guildmistress Shalizar and all members of the Ashbury Mages' Guild hope these policies make it easier for the citizens of Ashbury to have their needs within the Guild met in an expedient and enjoyable fashion.
A strange and mysterious disease has inflicted a number of humans in the area. The disease produces strange colored spots on the victim's faces as well as making them feel heat, cold, or strong emotions.
Squire Jonathan Dragonhart was the fist to discover that the abilities of a stone elf could be used to remove the emotional aspects of the disease, but no one is completely positive how to remove the spots.
The disease is known to have originated in Diron but is not thought to be highly contagious.
This monthan important aspect of the Code will be discussed: The need to preserve the word and the oath to those whom you grant it.
It is very important as a knight that commoners can count on you to finish what you start for them--you are in their service--and your service to the people is compulsory. If a commoner asks for aid in a situation, it is your duty to aid them. Such is indicative of loving the country to which you have sworn fealty.
One must always remain faithful to their word. To break a promise is indicative of your inability to prevent falsehoods from spilling from your mouth. The Knight of Evendarr is forever stalwart in regards to serving the commoner, and keeping the promises they make to them. Rejecting a plea for aid is cowardly and craven--to break a promise is equally despicable. Service and promise go together. Undertake those deeds only that you intend to see through to the end.
Furthermore one must always follow the orders of their betters, no matter what the order. No command is unjust unless it is not tempered in righteousness.
Many of us former squires remember the times when an order was less than palatable. It is your duty to serve your liege as a vassal. Honor comes through service, not questioning the motives of the being that brought you to walk the Honor Road.
At the time a command is issued, never question it. The time for introspective contemplation is after you have completed an order--not while you have been ordered to complete it! Deviations from just commands given by a liege is ground for humiliation and dishonor.
Unjust commands given by liege's are likewise indicative of poor attention to the Code and grounds for dismissal and execution of noble privileges.
Good luck squires on your trials.
The Paladins of Ashbury
by Sheriff Dugal McEwan
This past month saw little in the way of official magistrate business, so I have been given this space to speak about the future of law enforcement in Ashbury. Lord Magistrate Faustus will be returning to this column next month, so I shall do my humble best to keep it professional.
Recently, I have been named as Sheriff of Ashbury, and with my appointment, I shall be bringing changes to the town guard. With the help of the Lord Magistrate, I have decided that it is time for a new look to the guard. The town guard will sport not only new uniforms but also a new name this fall: The Ducal Watch. As for other changes, they will be announced in future publications.
Any persons affiliated with the town guard as well as any persons interested in joining the new generation of law enforcement is invited to a recruitment and informational meeting at two o'clock on Saturday afternoon, July 15th, circumstances permitting. The meeting shall take place in the tavern. The future of the Watch will be discussed.
Thank you.
by Sue D'Onym
Hello, everyone! Let's see--what's the latest News They Don't Want You To Know that I can share with you this month?
So much arguing going on around the new Duke! While looking for the pantherghast summoner, Duke Bryan promised that if the caster came forward he wouldn't hold a trial, then immediately scheduled one for Shalizar when she admitted she had done the casting! (By the way, it seems the night of the summoning, Unrok was out walking in the woods with Lady Talia, though he now claims he was in bed the whole time. Surprisingly Unrok isn't upset about Shalizar's ritual experimentation on orcs--maybe it has something to do with the green bundle of joy she is carrying?)
But why did the Duke assume Morlox was the guilty pantherghaster? Apparently, the often foolishly arrogant Morlox let his lack of respect for authority shine through when questioned about his whereabouts that night, which annoyed the Duke so much he decided to put Morlox on trial just to humiliate him. Of course, Morlox being aligned with Trellheim played no part of this decision, right, Dukie? Yet another theory is that the new Duke is attempting to show Ashbury that he is in control of the Duchy, despite his secondary status to the good Duchess Mara. To do that the Duke must show the commoners that he is strong enough to go after those long believed to have gotten away with evil deeds due to their noble status, and to many people that means Trellheim.
Anyway, to make matters worse, Baron Justice (of Trellheim, natch) then got all upset with the Duke because after Justice pointed out that the version of the laws he had read did not require memorization of the Code of Chivalry, Bryan told people that Justice had said that the Code wasn't worth memorization. Insults flew back and forth for a while but I think they're all friends again.
The "Worst Luck With Women" award this month goes to Galoran for his one day courtship of the elven maiden Juliantha. Turns out she's the one whose been killing all the male members of his family and now she's starting on the women. Since she left him paralyzed but alive, what exactly does that make him?
Hey, ever wonder where all the gold goes that Magistrate Faustus levies fines for punishment? Ever wonder how his training is progressing so well when he spends all his time holding trials? Just curious.
Speaking of greedy, Hanson has been sending fistfuls of gold to some mystery woman in Evendarr. There's got to be an ulterior motive here. Is the mystery woman the next Paladin to be assigned to the Duchess with a magic sword?
The interplanar tavern yours truly was transported to was the scene of a few interesting back room deals. Signing contracts with a rather persuasive Ansta SlureÆ were Varag Ghoulchewer, Ulor Kaltani, and Baron Justice McCoy. Though nobody was talking, rumor has it they each sold off their spirit upon final death for something good. "Instant gratification, baby!" is all Ansta would say about what they got from the deal.
No contract was signed when Meshack Zooden sold his luck for the day to some tusked creature. I was going to ask him how it felt to be unlucky, but he was being held hostage on another plane by bounty hunters and couldn't be reached for comment. Now we'll never know.
The mermaid Aqua, who visited Ashbury almost two years ago, was looking for a king to help rule the water elemental plane through cruelty and oppresion. Ex-Sheriff Radric Helfax was charmed into cutting down Healers' Guild member Anakin in cold blood to prove he was worthy. Not far off from his last job, is it?
Meanwhile, ex-Squire Andrace, Squire Caleb, and a few other Trellheim court members allowed themselves to be marked by chaos in return for some neat powers. Most gave them up when some life elemental came in to purify their spirits, though a few decided to keep the goodies. Andrace was one of them and was last seen in Ashbury throwing up small squiggly creatures. Now that can't be healthy!
Meanwhile, a visit to Ravenholt by some of our nobles produced a few interesting sights. Both Baron Bretton and Sir Kirath were seen kneeling to Baroness Laurelin. And if you ever want to get a magic weapon out of Sir Angus McEwen, simply get him roaring drunk--he hands the stuff out to anyone.
Hey is this a coincidence or what? Right after they put Yannis (a/k/a"Tavern Boy") in charge of the Dragon's Flagon finances, owners Ta'wane and Camilla are myseriously kidnapped. Hmmmm.
It certainly didn't take Squire Wilhelm Neumacht long after his marriage to Kylara to decide to move back to Blackstone, leaving her all alone. Now there's a happy couple. Otto accompanied his cousin back to their homelands so now the Ducal household is short two strong fighters.
By the way, Duchess Mara has announced another Gunther's Knee competition in the tavern on Saturday the 15th! This is one of my favorite events--the best lie about what happened to poor Gunther's knee wins a valuable prize! Let's see if the storytelling gypsy Dax can win two years in a row.
That's all for this issue. Just remember--If you can't say something nice about someone, come sit by me.
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK Squire Algar, Squire Zachary, Natasha, and Sir Eridan for doing an excellent job of representing the Barony of the Ash Forest during our trip to Ravenholt. You all rose to the occasion and made me proud. - Baroness Laurelin
BALYN: Thank you for looking out for me in Ravenholt. I appreciate your help. - Laurelin
TO ALL SERVENKA GYPSIES: Mandatory Clan meeting on July 24th, 9:30am sharp in the tavern kitchen. If for some reason you cannot attend, contact me immediately. - Natasha
I HAVE BEEN GREATLY INSULTED! My name is Kylara Ann Prideth Neumacht, and I am nobody's "Blackstonian Gypsy Cutie."
WARMTH OF TYRRA ritual component to be auctioned on July 15, 595, after the dinner. This is the primary component for the earth rituals Create Battle Magic and Regeneration. See Daniel Star.
ZACIOUS: You egg-sucking son-of-an-undead, I care not how you spell your eternally damned name. I shall soon be joining the group you have disgraced known as Checkmate. I am not sure if thee haveth or haveth not been Obliterated, but if what I hear is true then the Graveyard of the Four Winds opens its arms to you. If not, then I submit a warning to you and whomever you have brought back: If I or any other member of Checkmate see thee, thou shalt be fallen on sight. - Xarreck
THE COMMONERS' GUILD is closed until Ta'wane and Camilla are recovered from their kidnapping. We are sorry for any inconvenience.
ATTENTION DARK ELVES, Unseelie, and others: Duke Balor of the Baleful Eye, Lord of the Formorian, Frost King of the Unseelie Court seeks to extend his Court to this Plane of existence. Interested applicants should arrange for a meeting through correspondence or in person.
DOES ANYONE REALLY BELIEVE Shalizar is with that dumb, ugly, unitoothed orc by choice? Would someone please quarantine her so she will end this joke of an affair? Doesn't everyone realize he's feeding her love poisons every month to keep her from waking up and killing him for it? Does Unrok have to become head of the guild before you mages will do something to save your guildmistress? That orc is not going to just walk away from his magical meal ticket after the child is born! - Concerned Citizens of Diron
WANTED: Bug in Amber; Uncommon primary for Earth Invest. If willing to sell/trade, please contact me. Also looking for any Earth components. - Anakin
ZERITH, Captain of the R'Kura Elven Combine: As you can see by the destruction around you, I am your superior in both combat and strategy. I want you to know that you and your people are too insignificant for My use, but I do thank you for the good training you've given My forces. When I am Lord of the Gerakari, it will be time to expand My horizons and take this entire duchy.. May My Queen's grace shine upon Me. - Draq, Knight of Gerra.
THE ASHBURY MAGES' GUILD would like to congratulate the following new apprentice: Kendrik Thyl, Shield of Vandemor